I’ve always tried to be a supportive mother, especially to my younger daughter who has kids—I babysit, help financially, and stay involved. But when my older daughter, 38 and single, asked why I never help her, I snapped. “Give me grandkids first,” I said. She left without a word, and I thought she’d cool off. Instead, my sister called hours later—my daughter had shown up crying, saying she felt unloved because she hadn’t become a mother.
That shattered me. I never meant to make her feel less than. I spoke from frustration, not cruelty, but my words clearly cut deep. I’d been longing for grandkids and watching others become grandparents stirred something bitter in me. I didn’t realize I was projecting that onto her, making her feel like she had to earn my love through motherhood.
Now I’m terrified I’ve damaged our bond. I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. Should I apologize right away? Give her space? I’m afraid I’ve pushed her too far. I miss her already, and I don’t want one careless comment to cost me my daughter’s trust and love.
I’m trying to separate my hopes from my love. She deserves to feel valued for who she is, not for what she hasn’t done. I need to show her that she matters—through small gestures, honest conversations, and new traditions that don’t revolve around grandchildren. I just hope it’s not too late to rebuild what I broke.
