I’ve always been upfront about being vegan—it’s not just a diet, it’s a lifestyle. When I go on dates, I usually order something light, maybe a salad or a small plate, while my date often indulges in meat-heavy, expensive meals. So when the bill comes and I’m expected to split it evenly, I feel cheated. I don’t mind paying for what I eat, but I refuse to subsidize someone else’s feast. On one date, I spent $12 while he racked up $60. Yet he still expected me to pay half. I said no—and he called me selfish.
That moment stuck with me. I wasn’t being selfish—I was being fair. I didn’t eat half the food, so why should I pay half the bill? I’ve had people tell me it’s just how dating works, that it’s about sharing. But sharing should be mutual, not one-sided. I’m tired of being guilted into footing the bill for someone else’s choices. I’m not cheap—I’m principled. And I won’t apologize for that.
Some friends say I should just pay to avoid awkwardness. But why should I compromise my values for someone else’s comfort? If a date can’t respect that, then maybe they’re not the right match. I’m not asking for freebies—I’m asking for fairness. I’ll gladly pay for what I consume, but I won’t bankroll someone else’s indulgence. That’s not equality—it’s exploitation.
I’ve started being clear upfront. I tell dates I’ll cover my portion, and they can cover theirs. It weeds out the ones who expect more than they give. It’s not about money—it’s about respect. If someone’s offended by that, it tells me everything I need to know. I’d rather be alone than undervalued.
Dating should be about connection, not calculation. But when someone expects me to pay for their steak while I nibble on greens, it’s not romantic—it’s rude. I’m not here to be someone’s financial cushion. I’m here to find someone who sees me as an equal. And that starts with how we split the bill.
So yes, I refuse to pay half on dates where I eat a fraction of the food. I’m vegan, I eat light, and I’m proud of it. If that makes me “cheap,” so be it. I call it self-respect. And if kindness means letting someone take advantage of me—I’ll pass. I’d rather be kind to myself.
